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Liberty Of London

So the amazing store, Liberty of London gave me a call this week and asked me for my top 5 tips for happiness this Winter. It was of course my pleasure to share my tips and tricks to getting happy.
Wellbeing With Jacqueline Hurst | Libertylondon.com | Liberty London

Ultimately, the most common problems people come to see me for are self-esteem issues. They range from emotional eating/body image issues to confidence and anxiety issues. In today’s society, we are constantly fed information telling us we are not good enough as we are. There are not enough magazines or newspapers showing real people, real stories and authenticity; instead we are fed photoshopped fairy tales. If we could, as a society, become more real, this would help many people. The more we remove the stigma of talking about what is going on in our minds, the happier we will become. Want to make a change? Here are five ways…

1. Learn to switch off: It’s important to switch off because you are giving your mind a break, and all minds need a break! To learn how to do this takes practice. For some it’s about writing things down, for others it’s about creating a space and a time in your day or night to simply stop. My top tip is to schedule time in your diary to switch off – literally call it switch-off time. Take a hot bath, read a lovely book, bake some nourishing food, turn off the iPhone/iPad and TV and go back to basics.

2. Beat workplace woes: Stress is a feeling generated by a thought, so I recommend people start to look at their own thoughts rather than blaming anyone else at work. Ultimately no one can make you feel anything; you create your feelings from your thoughts, and choosing thoughts that create stress is painful for you and you only. Start to think about what you are thinking or write thoughts down. Are the thoughts you are creating helpful or hurtful? If the latter, start to find a new perspective – choosing better-feeling thoughts is always the answer.

3. Overcome emotional eating: There are many ways to overcome emotional eating and body image issues. The most important thing to know is that they absolutely can be overcome. Ultimately the thing is this: if your weight was not an issue as such, you would not have a problem with food. Also, it is important to remember that we are fed images all day long of what we are supposed to look like – it is our culture and our society. You can, of course, always step away from that and put your foot down. Choose to say to society actually I am beautiful just as I am, thanks!

4. Find a work-life balance: Where are you happy? If the answer is working 24/7 then fine, go ahead. But if you are happy only working 9-5, then its important to balance out the times when you are not working. Balance comes in the form of joy – anything you find joyful could be part of your balance Another tip is to learn how to say ‘no’ effortlessly. Once you get on the no-train, you will realise how much more time you have. It’s important to remember that life is short, life is there to be lived, experienced and enjoyed – it is not a trudge, it is a blessing.

5. Prioritise mind management: It’s of utmost importance to learn how to manage ones mind. In my personal coaching sessions with clients and in school with students, I teach people how to focus and manage their minds because once they understand this aspect, their lives change. It’s amazing to see people become happier and start living authentically, all thanks to a focused and managed mind. Simply put, minds that are managed get better results, guaranteed.

See the full article here


Are You Listening?

People talk a lot.
We speak to our friends our family, our colleagues and our loved ones but how many of us are really and truly listening?
You see listening isn’t so easy.
It sounds easy (yes another pun) but a lot of the time we confuse listening with ‘waiting to reply with an answer’.
And, that isn’t listening.
We often speak over people or try to get our point across whilst someone else is talking yet doing this ultimately means we believe that what we have to say, is more important than what they have to say.
Becoming a life coach changed my perception of listening.
I studied hard, took exams and practiced my coaching technique a lot.
It was all going well until one day I asked an old timer friend of mine, who had been a therapist for 40 years, if I could practice my coaching with
with him.
He kindly agreed. This man was a gentleman. An old school English gentlemen, wise, eloquent, fascinatingly intelligent, methodical and very kind.
The day came and we sat down together and off I went, launching into my practice with him.
I gave solutions, I gave answers and I gave everything I had.   I thought I was doing great!
The hour was up,  I sat there pretty smug and ready for his feedback.
He looked at me kindly.
Then he gave me the best piece of advice I had ever received which was something I will never forget.
‘Jacqueline’ he said ‘I only have one piece of advice. When your clients talk you have to SHUT THE ….. UP AND LISTEN.
It blew my mind.
Not only that this English gentleman used and expletive (!) but because I had been so focused on getting my point across, on giving an answer, of having the right reply or handing over the solution to the problem,  I hadn’t even realised I wasn’t fully listening.  
Best. Lesson. Ever.
From that day on I did exactly as he said.
When people start to talk, I start to listen.
It took time to learn how to shut up. It took time to learn to be conscious and aware of listening but I soon got the hang of it and then you know what?
It changed everything for me.
When you truly listen you really hear what people say, not what you think they say.
When you truly listen you realise that what you would have said if you hadn’t listened, would probably have made no sense at all.
When you truly listen you get the gold. You remain a step ahead.
And, best of all when you truly listen you build stronger communication channels and therefore build better relationships.
So I dare you to try it.
For like a whole day.
You’ll be amazed.
 


Overcome Low Self-Esteem

Do you need to overcome low self-esteem and get your confidence flowing? Here’s an interview I had with Get The Gloss with my tips and tricks to help you on your way…

This week we sat down with Jacqueline Hurst for some expert advice on how to build confidence and overcome low self-esteem

With work, family and social life seeming like a constant juggle, it’s hardly surprising that the act falls flat every once in a while. Of course, we’ve all got it in us to be funny, smart and – let’s be honest – pretty darn spectacular, but there are times when we all feel like we haven’t quite reached our full potential.

However, if you feel constantly held back by a sense of self-doubt, it could be more than just the occasional ‘off day’ we all suffer with from time to time. Preventing you from ever achieving your full potential, low self-esteem can be both a debilitating and miserable process of thought. Thankfully, for those who do suffer from self-esteem issues, there are a wealth of tips and tricks you can try to help break the cycle and build your confidence back. To find out more about low self-esteem and how to overcome it, we caught up with life coach and clinical hypnotherapist Jacqueline Hurst, to see if her expert advice can take us from self-doubt to serious starlet…

GTG: What is low self-esteem?

“The term self-esteem refers to how we view ourselves. Self-esteem is the overall opinion we have and hold about ourselves and the value we place on ourselves as people. Low self-esteem is all about how we view ourselves internally – what we believe about ourselves – and is based on negativity: for example, ‘I’m unlovable’ or ‘I’m useless’ or ‘I’m worthless’. Of course most of us have mixed opinions of ourselves, but if your overall opinion is that you are inadequate or inferior, if you feel that you have no true worth and are not entitled to the good things in life – that you are ‘undeserving’ – then this means your self-esteem is low.”

GTG: What can contribute to low self-esteem?

“Low self-esteem can be due to the beliefs you have about yourself which you think are fact, but in reality are only really thoughts. These beliefs and thoughts are based on the experiences you’ve had in life, and the messages that these experiences have given you about the person that you are.
“Crucial experiences that form our beliefs about ourselves often, but not always, occur from very early in life, usually formed from the ages of 0 to 6 years old. What you saw, heard, picked up on and experienced in childhood – in your family, in your community, society and at school – will have influenced the way you see yourself. If your experiences have been negative, your beliefs about yourself are likely to be negative too. In other words, if you are brought up with parents who you thought never had time for you, or if you thought you couldn’t meet certain standards or were on the receiving end of another person’s negative belief system, then you too will most likely suffer from low self-esteem.”
GTG: How can low self-esteem be overcome?
“As low self-esteem is based on thought process rather than fact, it is really important to gather all the thoughts you hold about yourself that are negative and then start to look for evidence to prove that the opposite is true. For example, if you believe that you are not ‘lovable’, instead of finding evidence to prove this thought true, you need to start looking for evidence to prove this is not true. You could ask yourself instead ‘Who does love me?’ – you will be able to say ‘my mum, my dad, my friends, my family, my boyfriend’ etc. It becomes hard to believe a thought when you have evidence to prove the opposite is actually true!”
GTG: What are your top tips to overcome low self-esteem?
1. Question your thoughts. A lot!
2. Thoughts create feelings, so starting to think carefully about your thoughts is key.
3. Be kind to yourself. Tell yourself kind, loving statements that you would say to someone you love.
4. Remember, comparison is the thief of joy – you are unique and perfect just as you are!
5. Imagine your best friend next to you talking about you as a person – they would say lovely things like ‘She’s funny, kind, thoughtful’ etc. When you start looking at yourself from a friend’s point of view you will be amazed at how good you really are.
6. When you feel down, think about all the wonderful things in your life and the things you have achieved – you’ll soon realise you are pretty special!
7. If you are still suffering from low self-esteem, then talk to somebody – a friend or expert – who might be able to help.
Read the full article here
 


Love Your Life

I often get asked how my day looks by journalists and this week Woman’s Fitness Magazine gave me a call to ask me if I would like to feature in their ‘Day In The Life Of..’  Here’s the page – I hope you like it…

Also, I just wanted to say that if you are not living your life how you want to, come to chat to me. Sometimes we believe so little in ourselves that we think we could never do/be/have the things we really want to do/be/have. I am here to tell you this is not true.
If I look back at my life 14 years ago and compare it to today, I am blown away. I got here by facing my fear and doing it anyway, choosing courage over fear, doing a lot of hard work, having total belief in myself and a steely will even when people kept saying ‘no’ to me.  I don’t believe in ‘failure’ I believe in ‘growth’ and I have a strong belief that we all have something we are ‘meant’ to do, something we love doing.  If you know you have that something and are not doing it I urge you to think again. Come talk to me 1:1 or of course, take a course (!) at www.thelifeclass.com and learn how to live the best life ever, learn how to feel good, learn how to manage your mind and ultimately help your own growth and self development, all in your own time, in your own way.
I promise you that if I can do it, you can too…
Happy Friday
x


Fact v Truth

When my clients and students start working with me the first thing I teach is to become conscious of our thinking.
A lot of the time we think something in our mind, make it mean something it doesn’t mean and then we create a whole story around it.
It’s fascinating.
And often painful.
Mainly because those thoughts we are thinking, at the very outset, are not even true.
In other words, what we make a fact in our mind is not in fact, a fact.
We have thought’s like:
‘I think he is wrong for her’
‘I think I am not clever enough’
‘I hate how I can’t speak up’
‘I should be smaller/bigger/prettier/thinner/’
All. Fiction. Not. True.
It is so important to be careful of what thoughts you choose to make fact.
They will be the one’s that hurt.
So here is how to change this in one word (repeated three times for effect)…
Question, question, question.
Pen and paper are your friend.
Start thinking about what you are thinking about.
Start noticing what you notice.
And work out if what you are thinking is in fact, a fact.
If it hurts, it can’t be. And it’s then your job to start working out how to think about it differently.
Then it won’t hurt.
This is one of the kindest things you could do for yourself.
Here’s to the truth.
Happy Friday
 
Jacqueline


Back To Work

Heading back to work after the summer holidays? Here are some tips and tricks I wrote for PR Week this week  to help you leap back in and start ‘getting things done’.
Ever wondered how some people at work return from their holidays and start moving so quickly, getting things done as if they had never taken a break? Let’s call them the ‘optimist’.
Everything looks easy for them; we envy them and believe they must have something we don’t. The reality is that there are a few tips that they may be following, which I want to share with you, so you can get things done as easily and effortlessly and (don’t tell them) possibly even better.

Manage your mind

The optimist doesn’t have time for negativity. They choose always to look for the neutral or the positive. They know they are in control of their life by being in control of their mind. They also know that sometimes life gets tough, but the tough doesn’t have to break them and, in fact, can make them. Being an optimist means everything is possible. Having the right mindset is the key to the right outcomes.

Steal the trick

Think about some of the thoughts you had today that didn’t make you feel good. Write them down. Take a look at one of them and see whether you can find any evidence to prove that thought is incorrect. For example, your thought might be: “I can’t believe my boss still hasn’t signed off on that project. Maybe he/she thinks it’s awful.” Change this to something more positive, such as: “My boss is busy, and maybe this is actually not about me.”

The optimist doesn’t hide behind procrastination

They go out into the world doing the best they can with what they have, knowing it is better to give, than to hold back and wait until something is perfect for fear of failing; the odd failure is essential to success. They don’t take it personally, but learn from their mistakes and move on.

Steal the trick

Focusing on getting things perfect is a sure-fire way to hit procrastination. Taking action is preferable to doing nothing. It feels better, too, so tell yourself that whatever the task is you want to achieve does not have to be ‘perfect’, it just has to get ‘done’. Taking the pressure off yourself will help.

The optimist takes action

They know Rome wasn’t built in a day, but rather little by little. They take small steps each day to move toward their goals.

Steal the trick

Every day, make sure you do one thing, whether small or big, in pursuit of your goal. If it’s writing a proposal or prepping for a project, even one phone call or website amendment is development. One thing every day is something every day.

The optimist knows how to say “no”

The optimist knows how to say “no” and let go of what others think of them. They understand they cannot please all the people all the time; saying no gives them back their time. The optimist does not falter at this and knows no justification needs to be given after the word is said. They don’t feel bad about it; no is a form of self-care.

Steal the trick

Try saying “no” to one person each day. You will be amazed at how good it feels.
Read the full article here


Power To Change

It’s all possible
If you think it is
And when it truly feels like it isn’t, there is only ever one solution.
To check your thoughts.
So many of us go around thinking we cant, its impossible, its painful, its anxiety inducing.
Whatever it is, really doesn’t matter.
Because it still comes down to the thoughts.
Whatever you are going through, its for the best. Its for your growth, its for your good.
When I find myself in situations that just seem too much to bear, I have a tool that always works.
I find some quiet, I sit down, I take a pen and a paper and I bullet point my thoughts.
Then I look at them and see the pain they cause and decide that actually, pain is not my favourite feeling.
So then I get to work.
I question my thoughts vigorously with a fine tooth comb.
I question if they are true.
I question if they are facts.
I question if they are assumptions.
I question the hell out of them.
Then I decide how I want to feel.
And then I work my ass off to find the thoughts that make me feel the way I want to feel.
And I remind myself it’s a choice.
If you are struggling today, try this exercise and remember that you have all the power to change.
If of course, you want to.
Love
 
Jacqueline x


Body Image

My friends at Sweaty Betty asked me if I could give their readers my top 5 tips for a healthier body image. I love working with Sweaty Betty as they really understand that health is so much more than just what you look like. I wanted to share my top tips with you this summer so that you can have an amazing holiday without the mental chatter about your body ruining your holiday! Hope you guys are all having a great Summer. Here’s my tips…

5 tips for a healthier body image

Everywhere we look nowadays there seems to be some form of body bashing. We live in a society where unrealistic images of women that are photoshopped or contorted into looking ‘perfect’ are the norm. With struggles around body image becoming more common, life coach Jacqueline Hurst shares her top tips for achieving a healthier body image this summer.
Don’t stress
This may sound obvious, but stressing out about your body is not helping you. If you are constantly judging yourself, you’re just going to make everything worse. If you’re filled with self doubt, it’s time to take a breath and relax and focus on the good things. I can guarantee that even the most ‘perfect’ girl on social media has something she doesn’t like about herself, so stop comparing and start appreciating. Make a list of positive features, this can be personality or aesthetics and stop the judgement.
You’re more than your size 
Let’s just get one thing clear, society has given a misconception that ties in being ‘worthy’ with being ‘tiny’. Well I say it’s time to question that, who is telling you to be worth something you have to be a certain size? It’s likely to be something you have seen, read or heard. Remember, we live in a culture where people feel it’s ok to comment on your size and shape. No, it isn’t, everyone is different and unique.
Healthy is beautiful
Instead of focusing on aesthetics, it’s time to focus on being well and healthy. Working out and looking after yourself is key, so instead of thinking ‘I want the perfect abs’, set yourself a goal such as reaching a new personal best, trying a new healthy recipe or practicing mindfulness. If you are looking after yourself, then I guarantee you will feel healthier and happier. My first tip for this is to eat your greens, adding one portion of fruit or vegetables to your meals a day is good for your skin, hair, gut and wellbeing.
No comparing
One of the dangers of social media is the constant barrage of ‘perfect’ images of bodies, holiday’s, food and more. First things first I say stop comparing. These girls? I can guarantee that they spend plenty of time on the sofa in their sweatpants carefully editing these posts. It’s never worth comparing your life to anyone elses, focus on the positive and remember Photoshop exists for a reason, everyone has cellulite, stretch marks and spots, whatever a photo says.
Find the root
And lastly, if you still feel the need to compare, take a look at where those thoughts stem from. Did you learn somewhere that you were not enough? If so, question the hell out of that thought and teach yourself to turn it around. It isn’t true. We are all given a set of beliefs and as adults we can challenge them.
Jacqueline Hurst is a master life coach and clinical hypnotherapist. She has been featured on the Oprah Winfrey Network, The Sunday Times, Harpers Baazar and The Daily Telegraph. Jacqueline is also the founder of the Life Class, an online personal course for self development. 
Read the full article on Sweaty Betty’s blog here

Other’s Opinions

Opinions are a funny thing.
They are based on a belief system which in itself is based on other people’s views, opinions, and beliefs about the world.
In other words as a baby you were born having no opinions until your ‘tribe’ very kindly installed their good opinions onto you. Your school, gender, race, society, culture, religion, friends, teachers and ancestors all have a part to play in you and your opinions.
Interesting stuff this ‘tribal thinking’.
If your grandmother took you to church every Sunday somewhere in you, you will believe that this is what you are ‘meant’ to be doing.
If your mother told you to shake hands every time you meet someone new as that is ‘good manners’ then this is what you will believe you are ‘meant to be doing’.
If your husband told you that the correct way to eat a fishfinger was with your nose you might look at him like he’s a bit odd but he in turn, might think this is absolutely correct, because this is what he had been taught.  He, at this point, would think it was you that is the one who is odd.
Catch my drift?
We all have different opinions.
The point here is to understand that this is ok.
It doesn’t have to mean someone is wrong.
It doesn’t have to mean what they say is the truth.
It means you need to make YOUR OWN OPINIONS MATTER.
It means you need to ask yourself what you believe in.
It means you have to check your own life guidebook and work out what is right for YOU.
And it may just be that your own opinion differs wildly from the rest.
And making that OK is your goal.
Because it’s ok to be you, to have your own opinions and to not always necessarily agree and conform.
Open your mind, challenge your own beliefs and opinions and then work out what works for you.
That’s the way forward for happy days ahead.
Fishfingers tonight anyone?
Love
 
Jacqueline


Get Happy

So it was World Happiness Day back earlier this year and I wanted to share with you my article for Bodyism with my top tips about how to be happy! Here’s a quick fire way to get your happy on…

4 WAYS TO GET HAPPY

International Happiness Day can put an immense amount of pressure on ‘being happy’ which can lead to us feeling far from it. We decided to ask life coach, Jacqueline Hurst, what we should do to find happiness within ourselves.

When you treat yourself with love your world opens up. James Duigan reminds us to ‘be kind to yourself’. So, here are my top 4 tips to help you find happiness within yourself (which is far more important than finding it through other people, your career or your love life)!

1. Treat yourself the way you treat the people you love

When you feed your kids you sit them down at a table to eat their meal. Are you doing the same for you? When your partner wants that special handbag or manbag (!) but won’t buy it for themselves and you go and do that for them, are you spoiling yourself in the same way? When it’s time for your baby to go to sleep, you turn the lights down and mak their room calming, you wouldn’t put them to bed in front of a ipad or a television – are you doing the same for yourself? The point here is that when you love others you treat them well. Start to treat yourself well. In the words of L’oreal ‘you are worth it’.

2. Do the things you love

Partaking in activities that nourish your soul is very important when it comes to self love. Whether it’s an early night, a great movie, a hot bath, lovely candles or a good book then you owe it to yourself to incorporate these things into your life. Doing the things you love breeds happiness.  It’s a conscious way of telling yourself that you are taking care of yourself. Doing the things you really love to do is you being kind to you. Schedule it, organize it and do it. You will thank yourself for it – trust me.

3. Stop judging yourself

Speaking to yourself in a negative way is simply mean. We are all learning and growing, and no one gets it right all the time, neither do they have a perfect life. When you give up on beating yourself up that’s when the real love comes in. You wouldn’t speak to someone you love how you speak to yourself so it’s time to lock that stuff down and change your tune. Think of a baby learning to walk. It falls down a lot and it simply gets back up again, smiling, and gives it another go. It doesn’t berate itself. The tip here is this – when you judge you miss the lesson.

4. Say no

Saying no does not make you unlikable or mean. It doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you clever. If you really want to love you, you will take care of you and not people please. Loving yourself means respecting yourself and that means you are your priority. You don’t ever have to do anything, it’s always a choice. And in that respect you can choose to say no. Give yourself some self respect, time and some love back by getting on the no-bus. You will be amazed at how things change, how much more time you have and how great your ‘self’ will feel when you start to put you first.
You can read the full article here