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Space NK Talk

At Space NK this January it’s all about how to be #BeautifullyBalanced and I am honored to be giving a talk on Wednesday 13th January which will be covering the basics of mindfulness, exploring how saying ‘no’ can change the balance of your life in a positive way, as well as how to question aspects of your life, allowing you to move forward in a more thoughtful, positive way. If you want to join me at my talk please call the Hans Crescent Space NK store on 020 7581 2518 to book your place. See you there!


Inner Calm Matches.com

Matches.com is my most favorite shop in the world. Big statement! They have their finger on the button and their original and unique stores always transport me into a world of wonder. I can literally lose myself in the awe that is Matches with all the beautiful designer wear that I dream of owning one day! I was truly honored to be approached by them when they asked to interview me to appear on their wellness blog as part of the matches.com family. We discussed my road to becoming a Life Coach and the top tips to get calm in 2016. I hope you like it!


Body Image

Body image is such an interesting subject to me.
Everywhere we look nowadays there seems to be some form of ‘Body Bashing’.  We can pick up a newspaper with one article on Jennifer Aniston being fat shamed and the very next page Cheryl Cole is being skinny shamed.
We live in a society where we are constantly bombarded with unrealistic images, images that are photo shopped or contorted into looking ‘perfect’ and ‘pristine’ which only fuels the unspoken, silent (and utterly false) rule that one must ‘fit into’ society’s stringent ideals of being a perfect size or else you are not considered ‘worthy’.
No wonder so many people struggle with insecurity around their body image if their self worth is wrapped up in the size of their body.
No wonder we are all in such a flux.
Now if you have worked with me as a client or a student of my school, you will know that when it comes to body image issues I am stringent in pushing you to question your belief systems and I ask you ‘why’ a lot.  Questions like:
Why do you think your body deserves so much hate?
Why do you think it’s ok to be so mean to yourself, daily?
Why would you not talk to your daughter the way you talk to yourself?
You see, developing a positive body image and a healthy mental attitude towards your body is, in my humble opinion, the start of something very beautiful. Ultimately if we have a healthy body image, we start to be kinder to ourselves, we start to eat normally, feel good and we start taking care of ourselves simply because we want to.
If we don’t have a healthy body image we are likely to be eating emotionally, in some form of diet roller coaster, comparing ourselves to others and in constant judgement always placing ourselves as ‘less than’. it’s exhausting.
Because struggling with body image is not uncommon I thought that this week I could share with you a few of my top tips on how to banish the crazy…I really hope this helps…here goes:-

  1. Calm down. Stressing out about your body is not helping you. Take a breath and relax.
  2. Remove your judgments. If you are constantly judging yourself and being mean to yourself it is going to make everything worse. When you judge yourself for your size you are being really mean. Taking away the judgement means you LEARN so much more. Exploring why you think what you think about yourself and asking yourself kind questions speeds up the process of understanding yourself and therefore changing your perspective and your behavior. Judging yourself means you remain stuck and closed. Quit the judgement and be kind.
  3. If you are eating emotionally i.e. when you are not physically hunger, talk to yourself. I know this sounds weird but the next time you are standing at the fridge with the door open using a teaspoon to get to that last bit of Nutella at the bottom of the jar ask yourself this question ‘ If I didn’t care about this Nutella right now, what else would be going on for me?’ The answers will amaze you……..I hate my job, my boyfriend doesn’t understand me, I’m scared about this upcoming exam etc., etc., Once you have some real answers you can start to look at the real stuff going on. Because, it is never about the Nutella……
  4. You are more than the size or shape of your body.  Today’s society tells women that to be ‘worthy’ you have to be tiny. It’s not true. Quit conforming and start questioning. Question everything – who is telling you to be worth something you have to be a certain size? Who is telling you that to be beautiful you have to be thin? Likely to be something you have seen, read or heard. These people might not be right! Remember you are living in a society which body bashes all day long. We live in a culture where people feel its ok to comment on your size and shape. It isn’t. Everyone is different and everyone has something about them that is truly unique and beautiful
  5. Healthy is more beautiful than any size.  It is not true that one size is more beautiful than another. It is only the media that is brainwashing you into believing this. The truth is in fact that  ‘healthy is beautiful’! Start thinking about ‘health’ rather than ‘size’. Remember that reading magazines and looking at six packs on Instagram all day just contributes to the brain washing of your society and culture. Remember that a lot of pictures are photoshopped and doctored. Most ‘real’ people look real that includes scars, stretch marks and spots! If you are going to obsess over social media and pictures in magazines do it with the right head on!  Get cool with being imperfect. I’m not sure about you but the last thing I want to be is perfect. Why? because I know that perfect does not exist so I am not going to aim for something that isn’t real. Instead, focus on getting cool with your perfect imperfections. We are all perfectly imperfect and trust me, in the years of coaching I have done, the thousands of clients I have seen, I am yet to meet a ‘perfect’ one. So if you think you know someone who is perfect, I would suggest stepping out of your imaginary world and looking at the facts.
  6. You can always do a Social Media Detox. I love social media, it’s a huge part of my business but at the same time I know that all the pictures of people on there having a great time and looking like they have fabulous lives doesn’t mean I choose to think my life is any less. Remember that people will only post pictures on social media of them looking great. Think about the terribly sad life of L’wren Scott. Her pictures were all private jets and couture clothes. Behind it she was terribly unhappy. Don’t believe the hype. People have real lives no matter what they post on Facebook. Everyone is dealing with something.
  7. Stop placing yourself as ‘less than’. You are not. You are equal to. There will be some things that you can do and some things that others can do. There will be some things you cannot do that others can. This is called life. If we could all do and look and be exactly the same as each other, what kind of boring world would that be? Step into your uniqueness and own it.
  8. And lastly, if you still feel the need to compare, take a look at where those thoughts stem from. Did you learn somewhere that you were not enough? If so, question the hell out of that thought and teach yourself to turn it around. It isn’t true. We are all given a set of beliefs and we all, as adults, have a choice as to whether we choose to hold onto those beliefs or challenge and change them. My suggestion is any belief you think is keeping you small or holding you back needs to be worked on. Challenge it, look for evidence to prove the opposite is true and then go out into the big wide world with a thought that feels amazing. Because the truth is, YOU ARE.

Happy Friday gorgeous.
Sent with love
 
Jacqueline


Woman's Body Image

Woman’s Health wanted to discuss body image and asked me for my view on why our society is so in love with the extreme body image and nothing ‘realistic’. In other words why is our society constantly using tiny models or ‘plus size’ (their words not mine) and why are the media not using women with more realistic and real body shapes on a daily basis.  Here was my reply.


Growing “Pain”

Many of you know about my hip operation last year.
Recovery was meant to be 3 weeks.
It turned out to be 3 months.
I didn’t choose self pity, And I am adamant that because I got my thoughts right, The Life Class was born.
I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t gone out of my way to choose ‘excitement’.
So I’ve been bumbling along, working hard and then last week.
Bang.
My hip went again.
This time it was different. I hit the self pity hard for a good 24 hours.
I winged and wined and told anyone that would listen about how ‘fed up’ I was.
How ‘frustrating’ it was.
I blamed my hip for everything that went wrong.
Then I caught myself in the act.  Moaning away. It was really unattractive.
So back to the ‘work’ it was. I had to get real and ask some questions.
Why am I choosing to feel this way?
Why am I choosing these miserable thoughts?
What am I meant to be learning from this?
If I choose to love myself through this, how different would I feel, what different actions would I take?
All the questions I ask you guys when you’ve sat in front of me.
And this is what I learnt.
That this hip is a warning signal telling me I need to slow down.
It’s my body’s way of telling me it needs to heal and I should respect it.
It’s my body’s way of saying ‘hey, be kinder to me’.
It’s my body’s way of saying ‘do the work’.
And this is where I grow.
So it’s with love that I write this to you today.
If something is bothering you, do your work.
Ask yourself your questions.
Question why you are where you are.
Question what you are thinking.
Work out better ways to feel.
Work out how you want to feel.
And of course, and most importantly, you gotta work out better ways to think.
And that dear reader, is you, growing.
Your welcome.
 
Jacqueline x
 


BarreCore

Exercise is a key part of my life and many of you will know how much I love my Barrecore each morning. It is something I try to practice to help keep my body strong. Barrecore was created by a good friend of mine Niki Rein, a truly inspiring friend, woman and entrepreneur. She asked me to feature in her BarreINSPIRE blog this week. Here goes!


Eat The Grass

I sat watching the men’s final’s at Wimbledon on Sunday with awe and admiration.
Both players fighting hard to ‘win’.
Having trained all their lives these two powerhouses were giving it everything they had.
And then, Novak Djokovic won.
And as he did, he put his hands up to the air and then bent down to ‘eat the grass’.
It was an interesting move.
When it was time to be presented with his prize, he was asked ‘Djokovic, why did you eat the grass?’
He replied ‘Ever since I was a child I wanted to win Wimbledon and I told myself when I did, I would eat the grass’.
It brought tears to my eyes.
Because this is exactly what life is about.
We are all good at something.  When we hone it,  work at it and make it amazing, when we put out into the universe what we want, when we try and fail and keep working at it, when we don’t give up, when we truly ‘believe’, when we visualize and manifest and get the right energy flowing, when we give that thing all we have and more, when our thoughts are totally in line with what we want, then our dreams really do come true.
Proof in is the tennis (sorry I had to).
If we are spending a lot of our time in the wrong head space we are getting the wrong outcome.
‘It’s never going to happen to me’ was not Djokovic’s mantra.
It was more like ‘when it happens I will eat the grass’.
Get your mantra right.
Get your head right.
And most importantly, believe in yourself.
It can’t happen until you do.
Love sent,
 
Jacqueline


Life Coaching

Thank you Welltodolondon.com for featuring The Life Class. It seems that the wellness industry is hotting up and so many people are now aware of how important life coaching skills are. Take a look at the article here.


Are You Hypnotizable

Ever wondered if you are hypnotizable or not? Well now you have a real chance of finding out. As a long time member of the International Medical and Dental Association for Hypnosis, they have created some fun tests and quizzes to see for yourself if you are hypnotizable, if you are stressed out or how good your memory is. Check them out here.
 


Messing Up

It was a total fail.
It came out of nowhere.
And as it happened I cringed inside.
I totally messed up.
I could ‘blame’ it on exhaustion.
I could ‘blame’ it on being a total loser.
I could blame and berate myself continuously and still be doing so.
But here’s the thing.  If I had done any of that then what would I have learnt?
Nothing.
Zip.
Nada.
So I slowed down.  I got my thoughts down.
And then I worked out something really cool.
You see, since I have increased my work output, clients, media, businesses, book, talks etc., I have also ‘accepted’ that I am not going to be ‘perfect’.
And you know what. That’s OK.
When I thought about it, I realised something amazing.
ALL my role models have messed up along the way to becoming a success.
ALL Olympic champions I watch on TV have had to mess up to get to Olympic level.
ALL the entrepreneurs I have followed throughout my career have for sure made mistakes and actually become better for it.
And all my best friends have built their strong foundations from having messed up! It is from the messing up that they have become real, sincere and the most loving, wise, compassionate people I have ever met.
So many of my clients and students decide not to do things because they want everything to be perfect.
They don’t speak up or put themselves forward in case they ‘get it wrong’.
They ‘procrastinate’ or ‘wait’ or ‘hide’ themselves or their amazing work away from everyone to be sure there will be no mistakes.
Which of course we can never be ‘sure’ of.
So instead, they simply just stop creating.
They stop producing.
They stay small.
They get stuck.
But we are not here for staying stuck. We are here for much bigger things.
So here’s what I know to be true for anyone struggling with staying small…
The more I create, the more risk of a making a mistake.
And if I make a mistake, I get to learn a lot from it.
And the more I learn, the better I get. It’s the law. 
So messing up wasn’t all that awful. My world didn’t end and I got to learn a very important lesson.
Because being perfect all the time, is not humanly possible.
Oh, and one more thing before I go.
I want you to remember that when you make a mistake you get a choice.
Pity Party or Lesson Learnt.
Always. Your. Choice.
Happy learning.
Love
 
Jacqueline x