How To Actually “Let Go”
How many times have you heard someone ‘just let go’. I have, many times (!) but what I know for sure is sometimes it feels easy to say and hard to do.
Sometimes we struggle with feeling that we just can’t ‘let go’ in life.
That everything, in some way has to be under control.
We put so much energy into trying to control our bodies, our relationships, our money, our future, our business, our families, our kids etc., that it becomes harder and harder to relax and simply enjoy the moment.
So how do we actually let go?
First of all it is important to understand that letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.
If you are struggling with control (and may I remind you control is after all an illusion) then here are a few tips to help you ‘let go’ a little…
Beauty cannot be defined. Beauty is a reflection of what we deem valuable. Try not to value your worth on the size of your body. In this society we are brainwashed into believing that beauty is only one size. Challenge that definition. Define your own beauty. Get confident in your uniqueness.
Perfection cannot be obtained (and it’s boring anyway). Trying to be perfect ultimately ends up in emotional pain. Perfection is an unrealistic expectation which is impossible to meet and we usually then end up berating ourselves. Challenge your thinking. You are already imperfectly perfect and that is more than good enough.
Other people will judge. Doing our best and accepting that people will form opinions and judge is far more empowering than stressing about what everyone else thinks. Let them judge, who cares anyway?
Sometimes there is no right or wrong. There isn’t always a right decision or a right answer. It’s just about what feels right and whether we have the courage to honor it. Be brave and always trust your gut instinct.
It’s all going down as it should. Despite all our planning, plotting, worrying, dreading, freaking out, stressing about what will be, it will always work out how it is meant to work out. Trust the universe. Its always working in your favour. Always.
Take responsibility for your life. Stop blaming anyone else for where you are in your life or how you feel. Grow into emotional adulthood. Be brave. Look inwards and check your thoughts. Ultimately the only one who has real responsibility for you, is you.
We can’t change other people. No matter how much we wish someone would act differently, it has to be his or her choice. Trying to make other people change is a total waste of your own energy. We cannot change how other people think or act or behave. The only thing we can change, is ourselves.
We are worthy, just as we are. Yes re-read this again and again. You are enough. Right here, as you read this. You. Are. Enough.
Forgive yourself. If we want to be happy, we need to cut ourselves some slack and believe we’re doing the best we can with what we have at the time. Being kind to yourself is taking the fast track to helping yourself to let go. Be nice. Re-read the point above. Your worth it.
We always have a choice. We always, always, always have a choice as to how we think, feel, act and behave. Growing into emotional adulthood means there may have been lessons to learn from our past and we can make different choices going forward. Lessons are growth. Choices are yours.
We are never really alone. It might feel like it, but there is always someone to offer love, kindness, and support. We just need to be willing to reach out and ask for what we need. Letting go may mean that you need to get vulnerable but that could be just what you need. Ask for love and you will be amazed at how many places you can find it.
Everything is cyclical. For every pain, there will be pleasure. Nothing stays the same. Everything transforms eventually.
What’s the worst that could happen? If you are holding on too tight and finding it tricky to let go in a specific situation, ask yourself this question. You may find opportunity in that “horrible” thing. You may find ‘”growth” in the thing and you may even, find yourself. At the very least you will work out that you will be okay—still here, still strong, still breathing. You are more powerful than you give yourself credit to be. Let it go.
We may not get everything we think we want. Despite all our best-laid plans, things won’t always turn out as we hoped they would. There is always a bigger picture. We will though, get what we need. It may also be the best bit of luck you ever had by not getting what you thought you wanted. Seriously.
What we do matters. It might not seem like it when our efforts and outcomes seem small, but we create tiny miracles every day by doing what we do and being who we are. We all make a difference in our own ways. What you do matters. You are more loved than you think you are.
Sent with love,
Jacqueline