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Is Fear Of Failure Making You Procrastinate?

Everyone has procrastinated at least once in their life and putting something off is part of being human. But sometimes procrastination can become a nasty habit and really start to affect your personal and professional life. I know plenty of people who come into my office with stories of how overwhelming fear has led them to constant procrastination, paralysing them from achieving what they want.

Don’t Be Afraid   

Procrastination is simply the fear of failure; people are afraid that whatever work they are planning on doing is not going to be good enough so they say to themselves, “I’m better off not doing it at all”. This is something that people have to get over; you cannot allow the fear of failure to hold you back. The only way people grow is through accepting failure and learning from the mistakes they make.

Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and learn from your failures. One of the best things you will find is that you are never as bad as you think you will be, and most people won’t belittle you for failure.

Write It Out    

Writing can be one of the most therapeutic ways to identify and fix your problems. I find it works especially well to retrain yourself to not procrastinate. One of my favourite sayings is: “Your thinking creates what you are feeling, and what you are feeling creates what you do”. Writing out how you feel and what you may think is wrong can help you to identify what’s holding you back and help to start fixing the problem.    

Procrastination can be a tricky habit but it can be easily resolved. You just have to remind yourself what is the worst thing that can happen? Keep motivating yourself with positive reinforcement and soon enough you will feel the procrastination fade away.    


How To Actually “Let Go”

How many times have you heard someone ‘just let go’. I have, many times (!) but what I know for sure is sometimes it feels easy to say and hard to do.
Sometimes we struggle with feeling that we just can’t ‘let go’ in life.
That everything, in some way has to be under control.
We put so much energy into trying to control our bodies, our relationships, our money, our future, our business, our families, our kids etc., that it becomes harder and harder to relax and simply enjoy the moment.
So how do we actually let go?
First of all it is important to understand that letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.
If you are struggling with control (and may I remind you control is after all an illusion) then here are a few tips to help you ‘let go’ a little…
Beauty cannot be defined.  Beauty is a reflection of what we deem valuable.  Try not to value your worth on the size of your body.  In this society we are brainwashed into believing that beauty is only one size. Challenge that definition. Define your own beauty. Get confident in your uniqueness.
Perfection cannot be obtained (and it’s boring anyway). Trying to be perfect ultimately ends up in emotional pain. Perfection is an unrealistic expectation which is impossible to meet and we usually then end up berating ourselves. Challenge your thinking.  You are already imperfectly perfect and that is more than good enough.
Other people will judge. Doing our best and accepting that people will form opinions and judge is far more empowering than stressing about what everyone else thinks. Let them judge, who cares anyway?
Sometimes there is no right or wrong. There isn’t always a right decision or a right answer. It’s just about what feels right and whether we have the courage to honor it. Be brave and always trust your gut instinct.
It’s all going down as it should. Despite all our planning, plotting, worrying, dreading, freaking out, stressing about what will be, it will always work out how it is meant to work out. Trust the universe. Its always working in your favour. Always.
Take responsibility for your life. Stop blaming anyone else for where you are in your life or how you feel. Grow into emotional adulthood. Be brave. Look inwards and check your thoughts.  Ultimately the only one who has real responsibility for you, is you.
We can’t change other people.  No matter how much we wish someone would act differently, it has to be his or her choice. Trying to make other people change is a total waste of your own energy. We cannot change how other people think or act or behave. The only thing we can change, is ourselves.
We are worthy, just as we are. Yes re-read this again and again.  You are enough. Right here, as you read this. You. Are. Enough.
Forgive yourself.  If we want to be happy, we need to cut ourselves some slack and believe we’re doing the best we can with what we have at the time. Being kind to yourself is taking the fast track to helping yourself to let go. Be nice. Re-read the point above. Your worth it.
We always have a choice.  We always, always, always have a choice as to how we think, feel, act and behave. Growing into emotional adulthood means there may have been lessons to learn from our past and we can make different choices going forward. Lessons are growth. Choices are yours.
We are never really alone. It might feel like it, but there is always someone to offer love, kindness, and support. We just need to be willing to reach out and ask for what we need. Letting go may mean that you need to get vulnerable but that could be just what you need. Ask for love and you will be amazed at how many places you can find it.
Everything is cyclical. For every pain, there will be pleasure. Nothing stays the same. Everything transforms eventually.
What’s the worst that could happen?  If you are holding on too tight and finding it tricky to let go in a specific situation, ask yourself this question. You may find opportunity in that “horrible” thing.  You may find ‘”growth” in the thing and you may even, find yourself.  At the very least you will work out that you will be okay—still here, still strong, still breathing. You are more powerful than you give yourself credit to be. Let it go.
We may not get everything we think we want. Despite all our best-laid plans, things won’t always turn out as we hoped they would.  There is always a bigger picture. We will though, get what we need. It may also be the best bit of luck you ever had by not getting what you thought you wanted. Seriously.
What we do matters. It might not seem like it when our efforts and outcomes seem small, but we create tiny miracles every day by doing what we do and being who we are. We all make a difference in our own ways. What you do matters. You are more loved than you think you are.
Sent with love,
Jacqueline


Scared To Fail? Lessons To Be Learnt

Scared to fail? Lessons to be learnt and opportunities to grow from.

I often hear people telling me that they have a ‘fear of failure’. As if it is something that is going to come and get them and ruin them and their whole life. Like failure is the worst thing in the whole world. And I find this so interesting because I don’t believe in ‘failure’. But I do wholeheartedly believe in growth. Lessons to be learnt and opportunities to grow from.
How else do we really learn those important lessons in life?  Certainly not by sailing along smoothly without any waves. When I was learning about my own self-development at the good old school of life I had many, many lessons. So many situations didn’t work out as I had planned.  I tried a lot of things and a lot of things just didn’t work out how I had expected them to.  Except looking back, I realise it was all so perfect.

You see there is no failure, only growth. 
Everything I experienced only ever helped me rise bigger, better, faster and stronger. In other words, I wouldn’t have got where I am now without those lessons.

It was those lessons that challenged me to think another way.
It’s perfect. Life is always happening exactly how it should be and our perspective on things is what matters. If you want to berate yourself for ‘failing’ then go ahead, be my guest! And you will find yourself going around in circles, not feeling great at all and learning a grand total of nil. If you want to challenge your thinking and ask yourself ‘what did I learn here’ you will find an amazing lesson, a new path and you will start to feel a lot better.

It is, of course, your choice…
So what is it with failure? Why do people fret it, try to avoid it, and beat themselves up for not being perfect when the simple truth is this – no great success was ever achieved without it.

It is a necessary part of growth.
Especially if you look at it correctly. Change your mind about the word failure and your life will grow. Seriously, look upon these lessons as part of being human, as a bigger plan for you, as part of becoming a better you and then simply, move on.
Here’s to many more lessons x


7 Secrets of Restful Sleep

If you haven’t read The Wellness Report over at matchesfashion.com it’s really worth taking a look at their super cool fashion and wellness blog.  I was honoured to have been asked once again to appear on their blog with my advice, this time on how to get a restful and revitalising sleep. If you are struggling with sleep, this article is for you!

7 Secrets of Restful Sleep

Arianna Huffington, co-founder and editor-in-chief of The Huffington Post, once said, ‘The way to a more productive, more inspired, more joyful life is getting enough sleep.’ Indeed, lack of sleep can have severe effects, ranging from weight gain and dry skin to heightened emotions and excess cortisol levels. So how can we learn to sleep better and wake up feeling more refreshed, energised and ready to face the day? Jacqueline Hurst shares her wisdom…

1. Be consistent
Consistency promotes good sleeping patterns. Going to bed and getting up at roughly the same time each day will teach your body what you want it to do. It will help to keep your body clock in time and promote your natural drive to sleep. If you are awake at night, choose to stay in bed and conserve your energy by lying still and breathing. Don’t disrupt your pattern.
2. Mood lighting

 The blue light from your laptop or smartphone is a lot more stressful on your body than you may realise when it comes to getting a good night’s sleep. Many of us still relax in the evenings with bright, artificial lights, which prevents the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone. Dim the lights in your bedroom and living room, or use candles to stimulate the production of melatonin. Think about putting a baby to bed, you wouldn’t put them in front of bright lights just before bed time, instead you wind them down with soft lighting to ease them sleep. Do the same for yourself.

3. Meditate and breathe
Meditation can help maintain a healthy sleep rhythm and is a great way to relax the mind. Meditating for just 10 minutes a day should help you to notice an increased sense of wellbeing. The beauty of meditation is that you don’t need anything for it, just somewhere quiet and relaxed, like your bedroom. Begin by just following your breath: inhale for four counts, exhale for four counts and don’t worry if you have some thoughts – that’s normal – just keep coming back to the breath.
4. Accept and be mindful
Worrying about not sleeping or imagining how bad things will be if you don’t sleep only helps to increase night-time stress. It’s important to slow your mind down to stop catastrophising or creating anxiety. Bring yourself back to the present moment and focus on the now. Getting the right thoughts in your mind really matters.
5. De-stimulate
Knowing what not to eat or drink can really help with insomnia. Avoiding caffeine, spicy foods, alcohol (which is a stimulant as well as a depressant) and anything high in sugars is key. Caffeine is one of the worst offenders – if you love your coffee or caffeinated tea, drink as much as you want but make sure you stop by midday. That gives your body a good 10-12 hours to recover from the caffeine hit and ensures you’re in a wind-down mode in time for bed.
6. Think natural
Sleep is a natural physiological process that cannot be controlled. According to the Division of Sleep Medicine at Harvard Medical School, your body manages and requires sleep in much the same way that it regulates the need for eating and drinking and breathing. Having a reliance on unnatural night-time rituals or pills can fuel sleep anxiety and further sleeplessness.
7. Exercise
I’m not saying stop exercising altogether, but be careful not to exercise too vigorously or too close to bedtime. Intense exercise can lead to the elevation of some hormones (such as cortisol), which may prevent you from drifting off easily. If you’re suffering from sleep issues, try to work out early in the day.
You can read the full article over at Matches Fashion here.

If you are struggling with restful sleep, or any other issues, you can contact me for a 1:1 session in my office, on the phone or via Skype. Alternatively, if you want to feel better but do your self-development online, you can head on over to my school The Life Class and take the Foundation Course.


5 Tips For Boosting Your Self-Esteem

5 Tips For Boosting Your Self-Esteem

If you are your own worst critic and find yourself tortured with feelings of self-doubt, do yourself a favour and take some advice from GQ Therapist, Jacqueline Hurst. You will definitely feel better for it!

Life nowadays can seem like a constant juggle. We are bombarded with unreal images daily on social media, TV and magazines and we can all feel a little overwhelmed as if we haven’t quite reached our full potential. A little bit of this is normal, however, if you feel constantly held back by a sense of self-doubt, it could be more than just the occasional “off day” we all suffer with from time to time. Preventing you from ever achieving your full potential, low self-esteem can be both a debilitating and miserable. Thankfully, for those who do suffer from self-esteem issues, there are a wealth of tips and tricks you can try to help break the cycle and build your confidence back.

What is self-esteem?

The term self-esteem refers to how we view ourselves. Self-esteem is the overall opinion we have and hold about ourselves and the value we place on ourselves as people. Low self-esteem is all about how we view ourselves internally – what we believe about ourselves – and is based on negativity: for example, “I’m unlovable” or “I’m useless” or “I’m worthless”. Of course, most of us have mixed opinions of ourselves, but if your overall opinion is that you are inadequate or inferior, or if you feel that you have no true worth and are not entitled to the good things in life – that you are “undeserving” – then this means your self-esteem is low.

Low self-esteem can be due to the beliefs you have about yourself which you think are fact, but in reality are only really thoughts. These beliefs and thoughts are based on the experiences you’ve had in life, and the messages that these experiences have given you about the person that you are.

As low self-esteem is based on thought process rather than fact, it is really important to gather all the thoughts you hold about yourself that are negative and then start to look for evidence to prove that the opposite is true. For example, if you believe that you are not “lovable”, instead of finding evidence to prove this thought true, you need to start looking for evidence to prove this is not true. You could ask yourself instead “Who does love me?” – you will be able to say “My mum, my dad, my friends, my family, my girl/boyfriend” etc. It becomes hard to believe a thought when you have evidence to prove the opposite is actually true.

If you are suffering from low self-esteem here are my top five tips to overcome it:

1. Question your thoughts

Are you conscious of what you are thinking? Thoughts create feelings, so starting to think carefully about your thoughts is key. Positive thoughts create positive feelings.

2. Be kind to yourself

Tell yourself kind, loving statements that you would say to someone you love. Imagine your best friend next to you talking about you as a person – they would say lovely things like “She’s funny, kind, thoughtful” etc. When you start looking at yourself from a friend’s point of view you will be amazed at how good you really are.

You are unique and perfect just as you are. Comparing is a waste of your time. Instead, remember that someone else’s beauty does not mean the absence of your own.

4. Gratitude is key to feeling better

When you feel down, think about all the wonderful things in your life and the things you have achieved – you’ll soon realize you are pretty special. You cannot feel grateful and miserable at the same time.

5. Perfection does not exist

Good enough, really is good enough.

You can read the full article over at GQ here.


The Life Class

The Life Class has gone LIVE!
I wanted to share with you my recent activity which literally involved sweat and (happy) tears but luckily no blood! The Life Class is my online school which runs two courses, one to become a Certified Life Coach the other is the Foundation Course which is for anyone and everyone who wants to learn how to become their happiest self in less than 5 mins a day.
It’s been sitting online for around 5 years but this year I decided to revamp it, re-brand it and add a tonne more information – I’ve made it even better and I am super excited to share this with you! Here is a short synopsis…

What?

My online courses are a collection of my life’s work. I’ve seen the material transform hundreds of lives. Will it work for everyone? I wish. Will it work for everyone who works it? In my experience, yes!

How?

The course runs automatically and once you sign up you get six stunning modules of life-changing information, with videos, worksheets and notes that you get to keep forever.

Why?

Silly really because, hell, why not?!

When?

Now! Head over to www.thelifeclass.com, there is no time to lose!
What are you waiting for? Go!
Big love,
Jacqueline x


If You Are Stuck

You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it” Albert Einstein 
Feel a little stuck? Not living the life you want to be living? Think you might be in the wrong job, have the wrong partner or simply know there is more to life? Are you struggling with your weight and feel you can’t ‘get it’ no matter what you have tried in the past? Are you constantly saying to yourself ‘my life would be better if…’
Then you I can help you. I help people to create the life they want via their thought process. When our thoughts are off key we create a life of anger, frustration, boredem and unhappiness. We blame other people, places or things for our feelings and simply get stuck.  Life coaching helps people to become unstuck by challenging their thinking and in turn helping them to change things around to get the results they want and start to feel great.
Life coaching can help people with a variety of issues including confidence, anxiety, stress, anger and specialise in helping people with weight problems.
What does life coaching mean and what does it entail?
I ask people thought provoking questions that help them get to know themselves.
I tell my clients the truth: the truth that other people will not tell them.
I help people see the downside of being mean to themselves.
I challenge any held belief that is not in my client’s best interest.
I pull my clients up on the lies they are telling themselves.
I help my clients show up when they want to quit.
I help my clients act from a place of love rather than fear.
I ask my clients to reach for more of themselves.
I help people figure out why they do what they do so they can change it.
Who do I coach?
I coach the most amazingly brilliant men and women all around the world.
I coach men and women who are tired of being fat, tired of hating themselves, tired of being married to the wrong person.
I coach people who believe there is a better way to live life than drinking a bottle of wine every night.
I coach women who give to everyone but themselves in the hope that someone will approve of them and love them, everyone but themselves.
I coach people who think they are a victim. Being victimised and taking on the role of victim are very different.
I coach doctors, lawyers, QCs, PhD students, Oxford/Cambridge graduates and I coach clients who didn’t finish school.
I coach people desperate and in despair and holding on by a thread with only a glimmer of hope.
I coach people who make lots of money and feel awful and clients who make no money and feel awful.
I coach anyone who is willing to find a way to feel better.
So if you think it might be time to have a chat in order to see how life coaching can help YOU get a better perspecitve on life, feel better or start taking better actions and getting better results, email me today and we can get something started.  You’re worth it.
Happy Friday x


GQ Feature: The Life Class

GQ Feature: The Life Class

GQ Magazine loves The Life Class and chose to feature it in this month’s issue – I couldn’t be more proud of this school! The Life Class is an online self-development course for those who don’t want to ‘do’ therapy. It is one of the fastest growing courses in the UK for people who want to do a little work on their mindset and emotional intelligence from the comfort of their own sofa.  I wanted to share this amazing feature with you, it’s in the April issue – out now!
Read the full article here: GQ features The Life Class


GQ Wellness Plan

The boys at GQ gave me a call and asked if I could help advise how to simply ‘ Plan your wellness year ahead’.  It was food for thought as I was wanted to write something original and have some practical and helpful tips.  It came out well and I wanted to share this article with you here…enjoy!

How to plan your wellness year ahead

When it comes to health and wellness, planning is key. Focusing on what you want your year to look like and creating a plan to follow is a sure-fire way to making it happen. Think of it like an athlete, to become the best you need to plan and practice. 2018 can be your best year yet and to help, here are clinical hypnotherapist and London life coach, Jacqueline Hurst’s, top seven tips

Reflect

Take a few moments and look back on 2017 and ask yourself some questions. What did you do really well? What did you achieve that you were proud of? What did you not get around to doing that you would like to do this year? Where did you experience the most satisfaction? Where and when did you have the most “fun”? What areas of your life didn’t work out so well? What lessons did you learn and what did you discover about yourself? Your answers to these questions will provide some interesting clues and insights into what you need to focus on and get around to doing that can make this year your best yet.

Set a goal

When we put our mind to something we really want to do, it is totally achievable. All you have to do is believe it. Believing you can, means you will. When you think about the summer what would you want to have achieved by then? What do you need to do to motivate yourself to make that happen? When you think about Christmas, what would you like to say you have achieved this year? Now is the time to make an action plan to get a goal achieved this year. There is a tonne of motivational information around for you whether it be a book to read, an audiobook to listen to, a coach to help you or buddying up with someone who wants the same thing. Don’t forget to choose a goal that interests you and plot your progress as you go. Remember, we become what we repeatedly do.

Fuel up and keep it simple

The food you eat really matters when it comes to thinking about your health, energy and wellbeing. Eating well makes you feel good and the better you feel, the easier it is to keep a healthy lifestyle going and 10 pints just wont look so attractive. The easiest way to start is to keep things super simple. You can never go wrong with foods with one ingredient – chicken, meat, vegetables, rice, potatoes. This isn’t always so easy when you are busy at work and out grabbing a sandwich so in those times, just make sure it’s something as close to nature as possible and keep to a four to five ingredient rule. Remember, if a product has more than five ingredients in it, it’s likely to be highly processed which means energy drain.

Get present

Time goes fast and goes even faster when we are unconscious and unaware. One moment it’s January and the next its September. Learning to be present is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. A good way to learn how to get present is to start your day with a ten-minute meditation. Meditation is a perfect way to learn how to slow down and take life more in your stride. It helps calm anxiety, it helps stress dissipate and it helps you become a nicer person. Getting present is about awareness, and becoming mindful means you automatically start to enjoy life more. The little things that used to stress you out become a thing of the past and everything becomes just that bit “easier”. Try it.

Do it now

Don’t make the mistake of playing the “yes, but when I get there” game. So many of us think that only when we have something different to now, will we be happy. “When I make CEO, lose the stone, get the million, buy the bigger house etc etc etc, then I’ll finally be happy”. I hate to break it to you but the truth is happiness is a mindset. It’s something you chose. This month now you are conscious and aware, make better choices. It’s all about an attitude of “Yes I can.“’.

Let shit go

We all have things that we carry around with us that weigh us down but are not actually ours to carry. Holding onto resentments or anger is exhausting and learning to let go is the best thing you can do for yourself. Make a list of situations you have experienced in your past that you are willing to finally let go this month. Let it go, stop taking it all so personally and remember that anger doesn’t ever serve you. Let it go.

Evaluate your crew

When did you last stop and evaluate who you hang with? Apparently, we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. If you look at your top five are those people you actually like spending time with or people you feel you have to? When did you last actually reflect on your circle of friends. Are these people who are supportive, helpful, kind and bring out your best? If not, now is the time to re-evaluate. Make a commitment to invest your time in good company over the next 12 months and distance yourself from people who are negative or energy-draining.

Adjust your Attitude

One of the most important things to do this year is to remind yourself daily that your attitude determines everything. Life is 10 per cent what happens and 90 per cent your attitude. The most important decision to make each day is to be in a good mood.


Blue Monday

Did you know that today, the third Monday of January has been awarded the gloomy title of ‘Blue Monday’ due to a combination of post-Christmas blues, cold dark nights, and the arrival of unpaid credit card bills from all the Christmas and holiday spending.  It’s apparently the most miserable day of the year!  So to help you out if you are feeling a little blue I have something really cool in store for you.
Tonight I want you to come along to an Instagram Live session where I will be sitting in Space NK being interviewed by Beauty Editor, Nadine Baggott on how to ‘Think Happy’ this Blue Monday. Just simply pop onto Instagram, and it will be going live from the Space NK handle @spaceNK
So ‘Blue Monday’ better watch out because by the time we are done tonight, it will be your best Monday in January ever!
Have a great day and see you later!
Love,
Jacqueline x