There is one basic human need that everyone wants, desires and is perpetually looking for. It’s called love. We look for love from our partners, our kids, our parents, our friends we seem to look for it simply everywhere except of course, from ourselves.
I know you think I’ve gone all self-help self-love blah blah on you but wait. Let me explain a little further. You see self-love is where it’s at. It’s the foundation to all the other things you want in life. It’s the key to the door. This seems to be difficult for many and yet this is the basis to which the rest of your life will flourish.
Contrary to popular belief, self-love does not make you self-centred, narcissistic or conceited. In fact, it’s pretty much the opposite. It makes you even happier and in turn able to give out even more.
We are all worthy of receiving love and giving love. The problem is that most of us are guilty of going about it the wrong way. The external validation we constantly seem to be looking for is flimsy. When you can give yourself that love, it becomes real. Trying to cultivate your self worth from anywhere other than yourself makes zero sense.
Here are 4 tips on how to start loving you:-
1. Treat yourself the way you treat the people you love
When you feed your kids you sit them down at a table to eat their meal. Are you doing the same for you? When your partner wants that special handbag or manbag (!) but won’t buy it for themselves and you go and do that for them, are you spoiling yourself in the same way? When it’s time to go to sleep and you had a little baby, you turn the lights down and give them some calming room to sleep in, you wouldn’t put them to bed in front of a ipad or a television – are you doing the same for you? The point here is that when you love others you treat them well. Start to treat yourself well. In the words of L’oreal ‘you are worth it’.
2. Do the things you love
Partaking in activities that nourish your soul is very important when it comes to self love. Whether it’s an early night, a great movie, a hot bath, lovely candles or a good book then you owe it to yourself to incorporate these things into your life. Doing the things you love breeds happiness. It’s a conscious way of telling yourself that you are taking care of yourself. Doing the things you really love to do is you being kind to you. Schedule it, organize it and do it. You will thank yourself for it – trust me.
3. Stop judging yourself
Speaking to yourself in a negative way is simply mean. We are all learning and growing, and no one gets it right all the time, neither do they have a perfect life. When you give up on beating yourself up that’s when the real love comes in. You wouldn’t speak to someone you love how you speak to yourself so it’s time to lock that stuff down and change your tune. Think of a baby learning to walk. It falls down a lot and it simply gets back up again, smiling, and gives it another go. It doesn’t berate itself. The tip here is this – when you judge you miss the lesson.
4. Say no
Saying no does not make you unlikable or mean. It doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you clever. If you really want to love you, you will take care of you and not people please. Loving yourself means respecting yourself and that means you are your priority. You don’t ever have to do anything, it’s always a choice. And in that respect you can choose to say no. Give yourself some self respect, time and some love back by getting on the no-bus. You will be amazed at how things change, how much more time you have and how great your ‘self’ will feel when you start to put you first.
Love,
Jacqueline
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