Do you know what gaslighting is? For those of you who don’t know what gaslighting is, it’s when someone uses manipulation by psychological means into making another person doubt their own sanity. They cast doubt on what you are thinking and doing so that you think you are losing your mind, when all along it is a manipulation technique used by the other person so they can feel better about themselves – crazy right! And yet this is something that I find quite common in the people that visit my office.
Unfortunately it seems that there are a lot of people who have someone in their life who gaslights them. Gaslighting can go easily ignored or if you’re an empath or thick skinned enough because you will be finding lots of reasons why the other person is behaving so badly i.e. maybe he had a hard day at work, maybe he just drank a bit too much etc etc. Yet all the whilst the gaslighting just gets worse. If the person gaslighting is manipulative enough, it can be very damaging to your mental health. This is why I wanted to talk about gaslighting and what you should do if you find yourself as the victim.
First and foremost, no one should ever gaslight you. If you find your friend is doing this then I’m sorry to say they are definitely not your friend. If your significant other is doing the same thing then that should be a big red flag to get out of that relationship as fast as possible because it can turn toxic very quickly. One of the most important things to remember about gaslighting is not to take it personally. Now I realise this is easier said than done, but if you understand where gaslighting comes from – in other words this is about them not you – then maybe this will become a little easier.
Almost always, people gaslight because they have a low self worth. They think so little of themselves that the only way they can feel better is when they have that feeling of power over another person. They want to cast doubt on you so that you become just as miserable and doubtful as they are. Hopefully this can help you understand it a little better and realise that when they are gaslighting you, it is almost always out of their insecurity and a mental sickness. Don’t let them get to you, the best thing you can do is pick your head up, maintain that confidence and get out of that relationship quickly.
Gaslighting is dangerous when someone is doing it for control purposes, especially if it is a significant other in your life. Some people will do it purely to manipulate you and use that moment of doubt to control you. This is a very common tactic in abusive relationships and if you think it is happening to you, please get out fast! No one should ever try to manipulate you or make you feel bad, or confused for their own self gain. You deserve to be happy, healthy and confident, so make sure you surround yourself with healthy people and don’t be afraid to let go of people who completely confuses you – life is too short for that x