So this week I met with GQ Magazine who asked me to be their 'resident life coach' - I was absoloutely over the moon as this had been always been a dream of mine and I agreed straight away. I came up with creating a 'how-to' series and this week we started off with some tips on how to get more confident. So, if you are struggling with a little confidence or know someone that is, take a read of my article here...
Confidence - that feeling that either makes you or breaks you in any given life situation. It’s one of those things that we think others are lucky to have, like they have something different and special, like they have this super power that those of us with low self-confidence can only dream of.
Confident people can hold their own in a room, are admired by others and their positivity and energy seem to promote and inspire confidence in everyone they meet. They come across as people who are at peace with themselves, who face their fears head on and couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks about them. So how does that work? How is it that they’re confident and what is it they have that you think you don’t? It’s simply a matter of self-belief. But creating the confidence you want is not out of reach and can be learnt in a few simple steps. Here’s how.
How you think is terribly important when it comes to self-confidence. How you think creates how you feel. Confidence is a feeling so if you are thinking thoughts that create feelings of low self-confidence, you have to start changing how you think. Negative thoughts create negative feelings, negative actions and negative results so in order to feel confident you have to think thoughts that create those feelings you do want. Thoughts that feel good, confident and empowering are the ones you want to choose. If you think right your confidence will soar.
Pick a role model you aspire to, someone you respect and admire and then start modelling yourself on that person. For example, if you think Jeremy Clarkson has the sort of confidence you are looking for and you are in a situation where you want to be that confident, ask yourself “what would Jeremy do?”. Works every time.
Comparison is the thief or joy. The saying “compare and despair” is true. Spending time comparing what’s on your inside to what’s on others’ outside is never a good idea. The truth is that you never really know what’s going on in other people’s lives.
The guy that looks like he has it all might be suffering with anxiety, the guy that looks like he has made it might be in severe debt, the guy that looks like he is happy might be struggling to have kids. You just never know. Start to do it differently – celebrate your own accomplishments, get comfortable in yourself and quit the comparing game. You're wasting your own time.
What other people think of you is ultimately something you have no control over. Being self obsessed and worried about what everyone thinks of you isn’t the sexiest trait and definitely doesn’t help your confidence. Ultimately, most people are not as interested in you and your actions, thoughts, or appearance as you think they are so it’s a good idea to let go of your obsession. Truthfully, those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. Stop making it all about you and never forget that actually, the most important persons opinion of you is only ever you.