fbpx

New Year Strategy

How to make 2019 your best year ever

Forget making resolutions this year. If you want to set yourself some serious life goals and achieve them, you need a strategy, and as the GQ Therapist I was asked what my top three tips were – so of course I wanted to share them with you here too…

I’ve never liked New Year’s resolutions – I always think they feel a little constricting. Deciding to do something every day for 365 days no matter what can feel a little overwhelming, so it’s always good to learn to live life just one day at a time. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to smash your goals and change old habits, but it’s the way you go about it that matters. Saying to yourself you will only eat protein and salad every day for lunch might sound angelic, but what happens in the deep winter when it’s pouring with rain and your boss just told you your last presentation was terrible? See my point?

So instead of resolutions, let’s look at strategy; it feels more powerful and therefore more empowering to execute. Strategies for getting what you want, feeling how you want to feel and living the life you love matter. So I want to share the only three tips you will really need for making 2019 your year.

Get focused

Whether it’s fatigue, distractions, lack of motivation or something else entirely, our inability to focus digs a hole in our productivity and therefore can jeopardise our chances of success. Getting focused is therefore the key to unlocking your full potential. There are many ways to help you focus: exercise in the morning to get the blood moving around your body and ready for the day ahead; meditation to slow the mind and teach it how to focus up; working offline so that you don’t always have emails popping up to distract you or suddenly slide over to YouTube because you can. The brain is a mental muscle and some studies have found that people who are easily distracted benefit from “brain-training” exercises. Make sleep a priority: good sleep creates good days. Take breaks – short ones and often. Even a quick five-minute walk can create the space your brain needs to focus up when you’re back to it. Simple but oh-so effective.

Get empowered

We live in a culture and society that is constantly streaming images of perfection everywhere we go. It is being shown to us as if it is real. We are all constantly bombarded with things that we are made to think are imperative to have, important to purchase, and then, of course, your life will change and everything will fall into place. The first step to empowerment is to step back and see what’s happening around you – that, actually, you’re surrounded by millions of pounds of marketing that is constantly trying to trick you to feel disempowered so that you buy whatever it is they are showing you with the false dream of then you will be good enough. Being aware of this is amazing, because you then get yourself back in the game. The truth about empowerment is that it doesn’t come from anywhere other than you and your mind. It comes from thinking right, having the right mindset and the ability to make your brain work for you, not against you.Get your shit together

Taking a moment to decide how you want to live matters. Taking a moment to decide who you want to be, how you want to feel and act is imperative if you want to step into 2019 with your shit together. You can’t have your shit together if your mind is off. Getting it together is really about growing up and becoming an adult. Children don’t have their shit together. They are chaotic bundles of confusion, stumbling wide-eyed through the world, motivated by pleasure and unquestionably following their whims. As adults we have to grow up and learn to take responsibility for ourselves, mainly our minds. You have to learn to ”think right”. This means learning to get conscious of what you are thinking in order to create the right feelings, actions and results. Getting your shit together means getting rid of any toxicity in your life, having an open mind and an open heart. It means choosing to live for you, the real you and to take care of you.

You don’t have to do any of this alone. You know where to find me.

Read the full GQ article here


Scared To Fail? Lessons To Be Learnt

Scared to fail? Lessons to be learnt and opportunities to grow from.

I often hear people telling me that they have a ‘fear of failure’. As if it is something that is going to come and get them and ruin them and their whole life. Like failure is the worst thing in the whole world. And I find this so interesting because I don’t believe in ‘failure’. But I do wholeheartedly believe in growth. Lessons to be learnt and opportunities to grow from.
How else do we really learn those important lessons in life?  Certainly not by sailing along smoothly without any waves. When I was learning about my own self-development at the good old school of life I had many, many lessons. So many situations didn’t work out as I had planned.  I tried a lot of things and a lot of things just didn’t work out how I had expected them to.  Except looking back, I realise it was all so perfect.

You see there is no failure, only growth. 
Everything I experienced only ever helped me rise bigger, better, faster and stronger. In other words, I wouldn’t have got where I am now without those lessons.

It was those lessons that challenged me to think another way.
It’s perfect. Life is always happening exactly how it should be and our perspective on things is what matters. If you want to berate yourself for ‘failing’ then go ahead, be my guest! And you will find yourself going around in circles, not feeling great at all and learning a grand total of nil. If you want to challenge your thinking and ask yourself ‘what did I learn here’ you will find an amazing lesson, a new path and you will start to feel a lot better.

It is, of course, your choice…
So what is it with failure? Why do people fret it, try to avoid it, and beat themselves up for not being perfect when the simple truth is this – no great success was ever achieved without it.

It is a necessary part of growth.
Especially if you look at it correctly. Change your mind about the word failure and your life will grow. Seriously, look upon these lessons as part of being human, as a bigger plan for you, as part of becoming a better you and then simply, move on.
Here’s to many more lessons x


Podcast: How To Stop Comparing Yourself

Podcast: How To Stop Comparing Yourself

 

The lovely Becki Rabin asked me to appear on her super cool podcast to discuss all things ‘life’ – including how to stop comparing yourself.
In her usual chatty style she threw quite a few important questions at me to answer and if you are interested in self-development you need to listen to this!
During the podcast, I talk about how to:

  • Stop comparing yourself to others.
  • How to start believing in yourself.
  • How to start truly believing that you are good enough and worthy enough.
  • How to go out there and grab life with both hands.

To download the podcast…
The podcast is available on Acast, iTunes and SoundCloud.
iTunes link here – go to episode 22: ‘Dropping comparisons and focussing on you’.
I hope you enjoy it!
Jacqueline x


7 Secrets of Restful Sleep

If you haven’t read The Wellness Report over at matchesfashion.com it’s really worth taking a look at their super cool fashion and wellness blog.  I was honoured to have been asked once again to appear on their blog with my advice, this time on how to get a restful and revitalising sleep. If you are struggling with sleep, this article is for you!

7 Secrets of Restful Sleep

Arianna Huffington, co-founder and editor-in-chief of The Huffington Post, once said, ‘The way to a more productive, more inspired, more joyful life is getting enough sleep.’ Indeed, lack of sleep can have severe effects, ranging from weight gain and dry skin to heightened emotions and excess cortisol levels. So how can we learn to sleep better and wake up feeling more refreshed, energised and ready to face the day? Jacqueline Hurst shares her wisdom…

1. Be consistent
Consistency promotes good sleeping patterns. Going to bed and getting up at roughly the same time each day will teach your body what you want it to do. It will help to keep your body clock in time and promote your natural drive to sleep. If you are awake at night, choose to stay in bed and conserve your energy by lying still and breathing. Don’t disrupt your pattern.
2. Mood lighting

 The blue light from your laptop or smartphone is a lot more stressful on your body than you may realise when it comes to getting a good night’s sleep. Many of us still relax in the evenings with bright, artificial lights, which prevents the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone. Dim the lights in your bedroom and living room, or use candles to stimulate the production of melatonin. Think about putting a baby to bed, you wouldn’t put them in front of bright lights just before bed time, instead you wind them down with soft lighting to ease them sleep. Do the same for yourself.

3. Meditate and breathe
Meditation can help maintain a healthy sleep rhythm and is a great way to relax the mind. Meditating for just 10 minutes a day should help you to notice an increased sense of wellbeing. The beauty of meditation is that you don’t need anything for it, just somewhere quiet and relaxed, like your bedroom. Begin by just following your breath: inhale for four counts, exhale for four counts and don’t worry if you have some thoughts – that’s normal – just keep coming back to the breath.
4. Accept and be mindful
Worrying about not sleeping or imagining how bad things will be if you don’t sleep only helps to increase night-time stress. It’s important to slow your mind down to stop catastrophising or creating anxiety. Bring yourself back to the present moment and focus on the now. Getting the right thoughts in your mind really matters.
5. De-stimulate
Knowing what not to eat or drink can really help with insomnia. Avoiding caffeine, spicy foods, alcohol (which is a stimulant as well as a depressant) and anything high in sugars is key. Caffeine is one of the worst offenders – if you love your coffee or caffeinated tea, drink as much as you want but make sure you stop by midday. That gives your body a good 10-12 hours to recover from the caffeine hit and ensures you’re in a wind-down mode in time for bed.
6. Think natural
Sleep is a natural physiological process that cannot be controlled. According to the Division of Sleep Medicine at Harvard Medical School, your body manages and requires sleep in much the same way that it regulates the need for eating and drinking and breathing. Having a reliance on unnatural night-time rituals or pills can fuel sleep anxiety and further sleeplessness.
7. Exercise
I’m not saying stop exercising altogether, but be careful not to exercise too vigorously or too close to bedtime. Intense exercise can lead to the elevation of some hormones (such as cortisol), which may prevent you from drifting off easily. If you’re suffering from sleep issues, try to work out early in the day.
You can read the full article over at Matches Fashion here.

If you are struggling with restful sleep, or any other issues, you can contact me for a 1:1 session in my office, on the phone or via Skype. Alternatively, if you want to feel better but do your self-development online, you can head on over to my school The Life Class and take the Foundation Course.


5 Tips For Boosting Your Self-Esteem

5 Tips For Boosting Your Self-Esteem

If you are your own worst critic and find yourself tortured with feelings of self-doubt, do yourself a favour and take some advice from GQ Therapist, Jacqueline Hurst. You will definitely feel better for it!

Life nowadays can seem like a constant juggle. We are bombarded with unreal images daily on social media, TV and magazines and we can all feel a little overwhelmed as if we haven’t quite reached our full potential. A little bit of this is normal, however, if you feel constantly held back by a sense of self-doubt, it could be more than just the occasional “off day” we all suffer with from time to time. Preventing you from ever achieving your full potential, low self-esteem can be both a debilitating and miserable. Thankfully, for those who do suffer from self-esteem issues, there are a wealth of tips and tricks you can try to help break the cycle and build your confidence back.

What is self-esteem?

The term self-esteem refers to how we view ourselves. Self-esteem is the overall opinion we have and hold about ourselves and the value we place on ourselves as people. Low self-esteem is all about how we view ourselves internally – what we believe about ourselves – and is based on negativity: for example, “I’m unlovable” or “I’m useless” or “I’m worthless”. Of course, most of us have mixed opinions of ourselves, but if your overall opinion is that you are inadequate or inferior, or if you feel that you have no true worth and are not entitled to the good things in life – that you are “undeserving” – then this means your self-esteem is low.

Low self-esteem can be due to the beliefs you have about yourself which you think are fact, but in reality are only really thoughts. These beliefs and thoughts are based on the experiences you’ve had in life, and the messages that these experiences have given you about the person that you are.

As low self-esteem is based on thought process rather than fact, it is really important to gather all the thoughts you hold about yourself that are negative and then start to look for evidence to prove that the opposite is true. For example, if you believe that you are not “lovable”, instead of finding evidence to prove this thought true, you need to start looking for evidence to prove this is not true. You could ask yourself instead “Who does love me?” – you will be able to say “My mum, my dad, my friends, my family, my girl/boyfriend” etc. It becomes hard to believe a thought when you have evidence to prove the opposite is actually true.

If you are suffering from low self-esteem here are my top five tips to overcome it:

1. Question your thoughts

Are you conscious of what you are thinking? Thoughts create feelings, so starting to think carefully about your thoughts is key. Positive thoughts create positive feelings.

2. Be kind to yourself

Tell yourself kind, loving statements that you would say to someone you love. Imagine your best friend next to you talking about you as a person – they would say lovely things like “She’s funny, kind, thoughtful” etc. When you start looking at yourself from a friend’s point of view you will be amazed at how good you really are.

You are unique and perfect just as you are. Comparing is a waste of your time. Instead, remember that someone else’s beauty does not mean the absence of your own.

4. Gratitude is key to feeling better

When you feel down, think about all the wonderful things in your life and the things you have achieved – you’ll soon realize you are pretty special. You cannot feel grateful and miserable at the same time.

5. Perfection does not exist

Good enough, really is good enough.

You can read the full article over at GQ here.


Don’t Compare and Despair

Do you remember a little while ago two beautiful women whose pre-Photoshopped pictures were leaked online?
The first was the beautiful Cindy Crawford, model, mother, wife in her 50’s with grace, style and poise.  Her picture got leaked showing her in a bikini with a not so toned tummy and some cellulite on her legs.  Guess what people? She’s normal!
The second was the amazingly talented Beyoncé.  So gifted and well known that she only needs one name, not two. This is a woman who has made it to the top of her field, just like Cindy C.

Her picture got leaked showing her with uneven skin, bumps on her forehead and lines around her eyes.  Guess what people? She too is normal!
I am not sure what all the fuss is about. Is it because these women are ‘shock horror’ just as normal looking as us, or is it because people are finally beginning to see that using Photoshop in the media is detrimental and unkind to all people no matter what age, race, colour or religion?

Don’t compare…

I often see people in my office who tell me that they ‘compare themselves’ to other people and I always ask them ‘why?’. Some of their replies range from ‘because she is so beautiful’ or ‘he is just so intelligent’ or ‘she is so lucky she has it all’. But my questions to them are these:
‘Have they lead exactly the same life as you?’
‘Do you know they are that lucky?’
‘Why, are you comparing your inside, with their outside?’
A comparison is only really a consideration or estimate of the dissimilarities between two things or two people. Re-read this sentence. In other words, the comparison is based on an estimation, a consideration and hardly ever based on FACT. You all know how much I love facts!

Tips to get on with being amazing

If you are someone who is comparing yourself to others here are a few tips on how to quit that shit and get on with being the amazing unique you that you were born to be:
Stop placing yourself as ‘less than’. You are not. You are equal to. There will be some things that you can do and some things that others can do. There will be some things you can’t do that other’s can. This is called life. If we could all do and look and be exactly the same as each other, what kind of boring world would that be? Step into your uniqueness and own it.
Be Grateful. Take a long hard look at how amazing you are. Start focusing on the things that are amazing about you and quit looking at the negative lies you are telling yourself. Everyone has something special and something wonderful about them. Find your thing and keep telling yourself about it. Big yourself up and have your own back.
Get cool with being imperfect. I’m not sure about you, but the last thing I want to be is perfect. Why? Because I know that perfect does not exist, so I am not going to aim for something that isn’t real. Instead, focus on getting cool with your perfect imperfections. We are all perfectly imperfect and trust me, in the years of coaching I have done, the thousands of clients I have seen, I am yet to meet a ‘perfect’ one. So if you think you know someone who is perfect, I would suggest stepping out of your imaginary world and looking at the facts.
Love what you have. In today’s society, we are lead to believe that ‘things’ make us happy. It isn’t true. The thing that makes you happy is you. You choose the right thoughts; you create your happy. It’s as simple as getting your mind managed and your thoughts in the right place. So start thinking about what you are thinking about and choose to love what you have. It feels great.
Social Media Detox. I love social media, it’s a huge part of my business, but at the same time, I know that all the pictures of people on there having a great time and looking like they have fabulous lives don’t mean I choose to think my life is any less. Remember that people will only post pictures on social media of them looking great. Think about the terribly sad life of L’wren Scott. Her photos were all private jets and couture clothes. Behind it, she was terribly unhappy. Don’t believe the hype. People have real lives no matter what they post on Facebook. Everyone is dealing with something.
Direct your focus to things that matter to you. Spend your time doing the things you love, focussing your attention on you and choosing great thoughts that create great feelings and actions. Direct your focus to the positive, and you will be amazed at how amazing your life really is.
Lastly, if you still feel the need to compare, take a look at where those thoughts stem from. Did you learn somewhere that you were not enough? If so, question the hell out of that thought and teach yourself to turn it around. It isn’t true. We are all given a set of beliefs and we all, as adults, have a choice as to whether we choose to hold onto those beliefs or challenge and change them. My suggestion is any belief you think is keeping you small or holding you back needs to be worked on. Challenge it, look for evidence to prove the opposite is true and then go out into the big wide world with a thought that feels amazing. Because the truth is, YOU ARE AMAZING!
Happy Friday!
Jacqueline x


The Life Class

The Life Class has gone LIVE!
I wanted to share with you my recent activity which literally involved sweat and (happy) tears but luckily no blood! The Life Class is my online school which runs two courses, one to become a Certified Life Coach the other is the Foundation Course which is for anyone and everyone who wants to learn how to become their happiest self in less than 5 mins a day.
It’s been sitting online for around 5 years but this year I decided to revamp it, re-brand it and add a tonne more information – I’ve made it even better and I am super excited to share this with you! Here is a short synopsis…

What?

My online courses are a collection of my life’s work. I’ve seen the material transform hundreds of lives. Will it work for everyone? I wish. Will it work for everyone who works it? In my experience, yes!

How?

The course runs automatically and once you sign up you get six stunning modules of life-changing information, with videos, worksheets and notes that you get to keep forever.

Why?

Silly really because, hell, why not?!

When?

Now! Head over to www.thelifeclass.com, there is no time to lose!
What are you waiting for? Go!
Big love,
Jacqueline x


Healthy Body Image

Healthy Body Image

The lovely Madeline Shaw is well known for her amazing recipes on her well being website.  She asked me how to inform her readers on how to get a healthy body image.  As summer is coming up I wanted to share this one with you before you hit the beach so that you go with the right mindset!

7 LIFE CHANGING TIPS FOR A HEALTHIER BODY IMAGE

Developing a positive body image and a healthy mental attitude is crucial to a woman’s happiness and wellness. Many men and woman have feelings about the way they look and they also have quite stringent ideas and feelings about how other people look too! Sadly we are in a society where we are constantly bombarded with unrealistic images, images that are photo shopped or ‘slimmed down’ and this is unhelpful if your body image isn’t strong and confident. Ultimately if we have a healthy body image, we are eating normally, feeling good and taking care of our health but, if we don’t have a healthy body image we are likely to be eating emotionally or in some form of diet disaster. Struggling with body image is not uncommon and I teach people that this can be changed by the way you think, instead of trying to change your body!

1. CALM DOWN
Stressing out about your body is not helping you. Take a breath and relax. The first thing you need to learn to do is get your head right. If you are constantly judging yourself and being mean to yourself it is going to make everything worse. Remove your judgements. When you judge yourself for your size you are being really mean. Taking away the judgement means you LEARN so much more. Exploring why you think what you think about yourself and asking yourself kind questions speeds up the process of understanding yourself and therefore changing your perspective and your behaviour. Judging yourself means you remain stuck and closed. Quit the judgement and be kind.

2. DEAL WITH EMOTIONAL EATING
If you are eating emotionally i.e. when you are not physically hungry, talk to yourself. I know this sounds weird but I use this with my clients A LOT. The next time you are standing at the fridge with the door open using a teaspoon to get to that last bit of Nutella at the bottom of the jar ask yourself this question ‘ If I didn’t care about this Nutella right now, what else would be going on for me?’ The answers will amaze you……..I hate my job, my boyfriend doesn’t understand me, I’m scared about this upcoming exam etc., etc., Once you have some real answers you can start to look at the real stuff going on. Because, it is never about the Nutella……

3. YOU ARE MORE THAN THE SIZE OR SHAPE OF YOUR BODY.
Today’s society tells women that to be ‘worthy’ you have to be tiny. It’s not true. Quit conforming and start questioning. Question everything – who is telling you to be worth something you have to be a certain size? Who is telling you that to be beautiful you have to be thin? It’s likely to be something you have seen, read or heard. These people might not be right! Remember you are living in a society which body bashes all day long. We live in a culture where people feel it’s ok to comment on your size and shape. It isn’t. Everyone is different and everyone has something about them that is truly unique and beautiful.

4. HEALTHY IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN ANY SIZE.
It is not true that one size is more beautiful than another. The truth is in fact that ‘healthy is beautiful’! Start thinking about ‘health’ rather than ‘size’. Remember that reading magazines and looking at six packs on Instagram all day just contributes to the brain washing of your society and culture. It’s important to remember that a lot of pictures are photoshopped and doctored. Most ‘real’ people look real that includes scars, stretch marks and spots! If you are going to obsess over social media and pictures in magazines do it with the right head on! Get cool with being imperfect. I’m not sure about you but the last thing I want to be is perfect. Why? because I know that perfect does not exist so I am not going to aim for something that isn’t real. Instead, focus on getting cool with your perfect imperfections. We are all perfectly imperfect and trust me, in the years of coaching I have done, the thousands of clients I have seen, I am yet to meet a ‘perfect’ one. So if you think you know someone who is perfect, I would suggest stepping out of your imaginary world and looking at the facts.

5. YOU CAN ALWAYS DO A SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX.
I love social media, it’s a huge part of my business but at the same time I know that all the pictures of people on there having a great time and looking like they have fabulous lives doesn’t mean I choose to think my life is any less. Remember that people will only post pictures on social media of them looking great. Think about the terribly sad life of L’wren Scott. Her pictures were all private jets and couture clothes. Behind it she was terribly unhappy. Don’t believe the hype. People have real lives no matter what they post on Social Media. Everyone is dealing with something.

6. STOP PLACING YOURSELF AS ‘LESS THAN’. YOU ARE NOT. YOU ARE EQUAL TO.
There will be some things that you can do and some things that others can do. There will be some things you cannot do that others can. This is called life. If we could all do and look and be exactly the same as each other, what kind of boring world would that be? Step into your uniqueness and own it.

7. LESS COMPARISON
Lastly, if you still feel the need to compare, take a look at where those thoughts stem from. Did you learn somewhere that you were not enough? If so, question the hell out of that thought and teach yourself to turn it around. It isn’t true. We are all given a set of beliefs and we all, as adults, have a choice as to whether we choose to hold onto those beliefs or challenge and change them. My suggestion is any belief you think is keeping you small or holding you back needs to be worked on. Challenge it, look for evidence to prove the opposite is true and then go out into the big wide world with a thought that feels amazing. Because the truth is, YOU ARE
See the full article on Madeleine’s site here


Rejection

Rejection

I received a really interesting email from a GQ reader this week asking  ‘When loneliness, a lack of self-confidence and insecurity all conspire against you, what do you do? I wanted to share the answer I had for him here as I think this is an important read for anyone who struggles with rejection.

Dear GQ Therapist

I don’t know why, but I feel like no one likes me. I have always found it hard to make friends and it is a feeling that I still get now I am at work. What am I doing wrong?

Human beings are a social species, and yet many people feel like they “just don’t fit in” with everyone else. A recent UK study found that one in ten people didn’t feel they had a close friend, while one in five never or rarely felt loved. So, while we may feel alone in thinking “nobody likes me”, we actually have that emotion in common with a great many people. Moreover, those who feel this sense of isolation also fail to realise that the reason it is so easy to perceive themselves as an outcast or to feel rejected, disliked or simply not good enough, has much less to do with your external circumstances and everything to do with an internal critic – something we all possess.

A psychologist, Dr Robert Firestone, once conducted research using a scale that measured individuals’ self-destructive thoughts and he found the most common critical thought people had toward themselves was that they “are not like other people”. It’s so interesting to me that this is a critical thought when it should in fact be a positive thing. Just think, if we were all the same, what a boring world it would be.

Before I give you a few tips on silencing that inner critic, I want you to know that there is no one in the world that “everyone likes”. It simply isn’t realistic. No one likes everyone, so those expectations you have placed on yourself are just not cool. Second, you don’t “feel” no one likes you… you think it. There is a big difference between what you think and what you feel. Getting your thoughts straight really matters when it comes to mind management. When you understand that you are in control of your thoughts, you can then become in control of your feelings.

A thought that says “no one likes me” is a thought that is not only negative, but also clearly not true. It simply cannot be that there are four billion people on the planet and no one likes you. Get my drift? So, it would be a great idea if you could look at your thoughts more factually. Asking yourself questions that start to promote a more truthful and realistic thought process.

Again, I am going to say that you “think” it is hard to make friends – not because it is true, but because you think it is. If you think it is hard to make friends, it will be. If you think that you could try to just make one friend by the end of the month, it gets easier…

Now, I want to help you understand, and then politely tell this inner critic where to go. First, it is important to get conscious. Start to notice when your thought process shifts and your inner critic starts to talk. Maybe you’re on a date and it starts with, “She doesn’t even like you.” Or you may be in a meeting and when you finally speak up, you have a thought like, “You’re not making any sense. Everyone is looking at you. You are an idiot.” As an exercise, write down those critical thoughts in a notepad, so you can start to get properly conscious of what you are saying to you.

Second, take a look at those nasty thoughts and ask yourself, ‘Would you speak to your best friend like that?’ The answer is almost certainly no. Would you speak to your other half like that or your kids? Doubtful. You see, when you are conscious of what you are saying to yourself, it’s likely you will become more ready to change it. A recent quote by Amy Poehler: “Sticking up for ourselves in the same way we would one of our friends is a hard but satisfying thing to do. Sometimes it works. Even demons gotta sleep.”

Third, once you’ve identified the critical thoughts, it’s essential to challenge them. So if your inner critic tells you to stay isolated or not go out, you have to start thinking about why it would be great if you did go out. If it tells you to keep your mouth shut at a party, uncomfortable as it may seem at first, you have to find a way to think about doing the opposite and not indulge in the negative thinking. Challenging yourself is key. Remember, the way to make the changes you want is to change the formula.

It is likely that as you take this process, you will find yourself having thoughts like, “This just isn’t working for me. I know I’m not good enough.” I would remind you that challenging these negative thoughts is what will lead you to get what you want in life. Thoughts are powerful and the beautiful thing about that is that thoughts are a choice. You can choose the negative thought or you can choose positive ones. It is important to know that you can choose different thoughts and find ways to access your confidence, strength and calmness, all via your mind.

Slowly but surely, your inner critic will be around less and less and your real self will become stronger, more confident and you’ll see that all along people wanted to hang out with you. You just hadn’t had your own back first…

You can read the full article in GQ Magazine here


Show Some Respect

Show some respect

Life is fast. We all seem to be working hard, running around and living life quickly.  Friday comes around and another week has gone. Living at such a fast pace means that sometimes we forget just how lucky we are.
We forget we don’t have to think about anything other than what we are doing in that moment, our bodies are intact and working well. We just put one foot in front of the other and continue through our daily routine.
Until we can’t.
Recently my hip went out. Again.
Everything was going super well at the cinema until it was time to get up.
My mind was happy I was wide awake, ready to go.
But my body, it had a different agenda.
It was sore, in pain and didn’t want to move.  It very quickly reminded me who was in charge.
It really got me thinking.
I needed to show some respect.
You see sometimes we are pretty careless with the one thing that really takes care of us.
Sometimes we forget how intricate and amazing this body of ours is, silently doing its thing day in day out, keeping us moving, breathing and living.
It’s especially hard to do if you think you hate your body. It’s especially hard when you focus on weight, food and body image.
It’s hard when you reject your body.
When you struggle with your body you are probably too busy being rude to it, punishing it, criticising it, reprimanding it and possibly abusing it to stop and think about how amazing your body is.  Your fixed on the negative cycle going round and round and round.
And I know how hard this stuff is, because I have been there myself.
But I also know there is nothing better than choosing to think another way.
Because whilst you are dissing on you, all your body is really doing, is simply loving you back.
Your body is always helping you, healing you, taking care of you.
It is desperate for you to love it back in exactly the same way it loves you.
Your body always knows what’s best for you and that information will not come from a diet, a pill or a ‘detox’.  It won’t come from counting points, calories or excluding certain food groups.
Your body will give you all the clues and your only real job is to listen, trust and start working with it rather than against it.
The only way to really find love for your body, as you are, with total acceptance, is to see how amazing it is.
Start looking at what it can do for you, how it protects you, takes care of you, instead of judging it on its looks.
And then the magic happens.
Realise that the only reason you are not loving your body is because you choose not to.  That’s on you.
So today, if you could do only one thing from reading this, I would ask that you take a good long look at your body, thank it for still loving you back and promise it you will, from today, show some respect.